The last country I visited was Laos. That’s when my mind opened up more than I imagined and more than I cared for.

I have come from so many cultures, and have experienced so much to the point that I have been blessed to ‘feel’ things on a much deeper level than anyone around me. I see things others dont see and learn things that are so hidden in the background that not too many people notice them.

This country and its poor people define peace and unity. I have never in my entire life seen so many people so content with their lives and so happy just to be there and be present; to be so in touch with nature, to be so utterly kind and loving of everyone and everything around them.

I would stop on the street and stare at kids for minutes with goose bumps running down my body while looking into their eyes. I would just walk the streets and feel like I’ve known these people more than i’ve known my life long friends and family.

I lived in Iran, where religion was shoved down people’s throat. All you would see of religion was on the surface and not in the heart. Big signs, big words, big religious politics with mullah and their pretentious customs, with 7 year-old girls covered up in clothes so bad that they could hardly walk. Then you would go in private and see the emptiness and the nastiness of this forced religion.

No one believed in the sayings. More drugs, alcohol and prostitution were apparent by each passing day. People, egos, fighting over something that was so meaningless and worthless. I thought religious countries were ridiculous and pretentious.

But you how it was in Laos? There were no signs, or words or people shoving beliefs down eachothers’ throats. There was an utterly genuine, beautiful and peaceful harmony that their Buddhist traditions created; one which made them give, even tho they were so poor, more than anyone in the Western or the Middle Eastern countries would give.

4 in the morning, and the monks would walk down the street and collect food from people who would eagerly and happily wait by the side walks with foods and offerings. People who did not care about materials. People who, despite their hard living conditions, felt so blessed and content.

I talked to many locals. Students, kids, adults, seniors, workers, etc. Not one of them told me they ‘dream’ of visiting the west. Not one of them cared to idolize Hollywood and its superficial values. They laughed at it. They knew better. That was surprising for such ‘under-developed’ country. This was in direct contrast to Thailand.

I thought long and hard about my purpose in this world. Was I to wear my expensive suit everyday, shake hands and make deals with millions of dollars in the bank, and a nice car and property, or was I to sit on the side of the road with a poor old woman, smiling and learning how to weave, while watching people, angels, walking by waving their hands and being happy to see me?

Was I to stress each and everyday about things, illusions, that never mattered, or was I to sit on a boat on Mekong River and watch how life, nature, unfolded before my eyes.

Was I to go to this country, to give, to teach what I know to people who could not afford me, or was I to afford anything I wanted from this plastic civilization?

I saw many Westerners with drug and alcohol problems in Laos. Most of them were lawyers and business men. Most of them could hardly walk out of the bars. Most of them would try and touch little Laos girls and persuade them to come home with them. I felt sad; and sorry. I would see these people caught up in their own little stressed out, closed world of illusions, at 7 in the morning in downtown Vancouver. I used to think, wow, he looks.. successful and expensive! I want to be that. I want to shake hands with big headed people and go to nice ****tail parties, and own what they own.

It was so empty.

I cried in the air plane when I turned the little TV on and saw E! Hollywood and the ‘Fabulous life of Britney Spears’ on the channel. I havent watched TV since I got back. I cried when I saw the Chinese ladies in the airport with their Luise Vuitton purses and the perfect hair and make up.

The tution for university in Laos for an entire year is $300. The average annual income is 400 dollars a year.

Never have I felt so free not wearing any make up, letting my hair loose, and wearing cheap cheap clothes. Never have I felt so beautiful looking like that. Never have I felt so ‘me’ and so ‘good’.

Here I am now in law school. I mean it when I say this: it is an entirely different world and I never imagined it to be this way.

People here are so … driven. There is so much focus.. so much focus and everything else besides school fades in the background. There are people who havent stepped out of their house and school in the last three weeks, not attending a single social event.

It is SUCH a drastic change. My university is supposed to be less competitive and more smiley and friendly. It is. On the surface. The only honest person I met was an upper year student from Newzealand, who got drunk one night and said ” it’s a game. No one admits. Everyone acts like there is no competition, but there is more than you could imagine, and you have to play the game. Otherwise it’s game over’”.

The one thing that made me realize that I made a good decision regarding entering law, was the fact that despite all the beauty, peace and calmness I experienced in Laos and its people, I realized that I had this ability, this creativity and imagination, this condition and situation, this blessing, to be able to do something more for my world. To make a trace, to make a change; to bring something to the plate. To help. To better and bring about *something* good to this world.

People in Laos were in the moment. They were happy with their shops and their jobs and their families. At the same time they were not *doing* anything to add, better or change their lives or environments for the better. Again, ‘better’ is arguable in their world, since they believe nature is perfection, and humans, no matter how smart, damage more than help the world.

I hold that view, but I have this feeling inside of me that I will do something good. Something worthwhile. I believe I am one of the gifted ones, and this not an arrogant statement. It’s a belief.

That is why I am in law school.

I am happy to be here. I am not as stressed as I used to be before I went traveling. I feel sad for people who have no idea how to balance their lives, and simply dont know anything else outside of school and work; that’s not life. That’s an illusion.

I am excited for my brain and how its opening up again. I smile when I see my old professors. Law cases fascinate me. I live in a beautiful beautiful place with a cat and a dog. My classmates are exteremely smart. They push me and my standards higher and higher, but at the same time, everytime I get caught up in the game, I think of a Laotian child’s smile, and my world because peaceful, slow, and utterly beautiful.

Enjoy the pictures and thank you everyone for your emails and kind words.

Love you all

Ronak
http://ronaky.wordpress.com/